living large.

Lately, I've been on the heavy side. Before I thought nothing of it as a kid, dealing with it as I'm getting older wasn't exactly a piece of cake. Basically, You've heard them all before--cut out the carbs, chocolate is the enemy. I'm tired of eating a lot this past weeks and starting to balance my diet (reduce I, mean.) because one day, just one day. I realized that there was a constant pressure to be thin--from society, my peers, my boyfriend, and even my family. The worst pressure though, came from me.

Days ago, Me and my boyfriend have this usual malling day. While dressing up, I got embarrassed about my size cause I can't figure-out what to wear. All my clothes are too tight for me, too small, and sooo fitted! Bigla ko na lang naisip (*ting)...I want to lose weight, to reduce, and get back my size when I was in college. Weight gain and increase size was really inevitable. I discipline myself, to be firm on my diet plan cause its very hard being big although I can carry myself but I don't like being BIG. Everytime I confide to one of my friend in college she always say that BIG is beautiful, I know she just say that for me not to be hurt my feelings. I know also the fact that " Confidence is all in the mind, If you feel you are beautiful then people will know you are." But I'm not after to that, I'm concerned with my health and now I'm still struggling with my diet plan, it's really hard but I know i'm gonna used to it. It's very disappointing for me, because I have all the ideas losing weight but I can't do those with the reason of my hectic schedule of studying, though. When I'm battling the bulge, I hated not being my ideal size. I couldn't buy or wear clothes I really wanted, I felt guilty about eating dessert (my fave part of the meal!). I had to endure my friend's annoying, well-intentioned words ("Magpapayat ka nga!"), my sister's relentless teasing (slapping my butt and saying "Ang taba mo ate!"). All this made me a li'l insecure. I constantly envied girls with good-figure. I missed out on life and felt that I couldn't be the person I truly wanted to be.

After my exam thing, I have so many plans to do some extrenous activities like I wanna try doing cardio ex. everyday, continue my boxing thing and try YOGA (Thanks to Ben-Ariel for his encouraging words about Yoga!). I really wanted to do those things and I really dedicated to obtaining it. Thanks to PEEJO for supporting me.