a must read.

Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal

In your life, you'll make note of a lot of
people. Ones with whom you shared something
special, ones who will always mean something.
There's the one you first kissed, the one you
first loved, the one you lost your virginity to,
the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're
with... and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that
person with who everything was great, everything
was perfect, but the timing was just wrong.
There was no fault in the person, there was no
flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't
fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with
someone, finding a longtime partner that is,
does not lie merely in the other person. I can
actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even
the greater part, has to do with the matter of
timing. It has to do with you being ready to
settle down and commit to someone in a way that
goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even
realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in
that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're
with, it just doesn't work. Small problems
become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers
simply because you're not ready and it shows.
It's not that you and the person you're with are
no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and
little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And
when this happens you'll be ready to settle down
with someone. He or she may not be the most
perfect, they might not be the brightest star of
romance to ever have burned in your life, but
it'll work because you're ready. It'll work
because it's the right time and you'll make it
work. And it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making
sense of things, and you find yourself to be a
different person. Things are different, your
approach is different, you finally understand
who you are and what you want, and you've become
ready because the time has truly arrived. And
mind you, there's no telling when this day will
come. Hopefully you're single but you could be
in a long-term relationship, you could be
married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All
you know is that you've changed, and for some
reason, the one that got away, is the first
person you think about.

You'll think about them because you'll
wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll
wonder, "What if we were together now, with me
as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one
that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll
have in your life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept
the fact that the one that got away, got away.
Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think
your marriage is, this can happen to the best of
us. But hopefully you're mature enough to
realize that you're already with the one you're
with and this is just another test of your
commitment, one which will just strengthen your
marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll
think about him/her every so often, but it's
alright. It's never nice to live with a "might
have been," but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who's
already married. In which case it's the same
thing. You just have to accept and know that
your memories of that person will probably bring
a nice little smile to your lips in the future
when you're old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it's
different. What do you do if it's not yet too
late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the
very existence of a "one that got away" means
that you'll always wonder, what if you got that
one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie,
it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out
of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might
be "the one that got away" as well for the
person who is your "the one that got away."

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it
won't make a difference. If the timing is
finally right, it'll all just fall into place
somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be
a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say
to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that ALMOST
got away."